On an interview for the Dealbook Online Summit, Citadel CEO and world’s nicest man Ken Griffin declares the GameStop saga over, and all the apes disappeared about 10 years ago, obviously, but that the whole episode left him thinking that it was like being in a ‘Bad Comedy Joke’.
As a result, Ken, who loves nothing more than making ordinary people smile and experience abundant joy, said to not-remotely-sycophantic interviewer Andrew Ross Sorkin, the woggle-eyed NYT and CNBC Squarkbox talking head that he is planning to start his own one-man standup comedy routine, using some of his favourite stories from his long career as a thieving, lying, financial terrorist who’d steal pennies from him own grandmother (at high speed of course).
The show, which he has already said will be called “Ken’s Bad Comedy Show” will feature Ken’s own tribute to great comedy classics, including Monty Python’s seminal ‘dead parrot’ skit, in which Ken plays the shady shop-keeper trying to persuade hapless SEC chief Gary Gensler that his ‘Parrot For Order Flow‘ isn’t deceased, it is merely having a little rest after a particularly lively squark.
Bad Comedy – Ken plans to inject new life into financial markets with One Man Stand Up Show.
During the interview, Ken talks about how Apes behaviour in the market was a bit like ‘a bad comedy joke’, which considering how comedy has progressed over the last few years into the unfunny, woke, highly polarised culture-war crap that it is today is quite a thing.
Of course, being the champion-amongst-men that he actually is, he wants to breathe new life into the comedy circuit, and will be making everyone laugh with jokes like “Did you hear the one about the Naked Shorts…? Nope neither did I” (boom boom).
Ken Griffin Way Funnier than George Carlin.
You can watch the fun packed interview here, but be warned, because Ken is such a funny guy, this interview comes with a government mirth warning, meaning he’s so hilarious, you run the risk of shitting out your pancreas with laughter.
Jokes such as “Most 20-year olds I know are really grateful for the current market structure in America” (in relation to PFOF) was so funny, we literally wet ourselves when watching it. “They [retail investors] love this [PFOF]” said Kenny, as the audience fell about in stitches.
Ken even regaled us with his catchphrase ‘it’s a conspiracy theory‘ in relation to GameStop, to the delight of the viewers who ratio’d the video at the rate of around 7:1 negatives to positives, and almost all of the comments being exceptionally positive towards Ken, with many including the hashtag #KenGriffinLied, which is one way in which retail investor superfans show their fervent love for the Citadel CEO.
Here are some of our favourite of all the comments made on the video, proving that Kenny is indeed possibly one of the greatest comedians on the planet:
Memestock Saga over years ago
In the clip below, Ken talks about the GameStop saga like being in a ‘bad comedy joke’ with weasly interviewer Sorkin, who gushes like a porn actresses vagina over every word that comes out of Ken’s mouth. One of the best moments from the entire interview was when Ken talks about how the memestock saga is ‘over’.
Saying that he doesn’t have a Twitter account (probably because he hasn’t got the time to go through all the fan messages he would receive if he did) Ken goes on to say that someone comes and shows him all the best tweets about him. Which is nice, and it would be a shame if all us Griffin fans weren’t continuing to regularly post encouraging messages to him all the time.
Ken Griffin’s ‘Bad Comedy’ pilot show will be aired on Cable Access, live from his 6x10ft Cell, starting next year.